


Suits of Skin and Metal

by Spinejackel



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Dealing with Body Dysphoria, Dissociation, Hurt/Comfort, flavors of how the author experiences dissociation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24343849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spinejackel/pseuds/Spinejackel
Summary: I wanted to write something involving Revenant seeing someone dealing with dysphoria and how he might go about it.Not a Revenant/Reader fic in the usual shipping sense, but he's talking to/with the reader, so. -shrugs-
Relationships: Revenant (Apex Legends)/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 78





	Suits of Skin and Metal

You ducked into an empty hallway, making sure to move far enough away that no one could see or hear you as you felt yourself slip into a dissociative state.

' _ You're okay. You're fine _ .' You lied to yourself as you tried to ignore the words of another staff member purposefully referring to you as a woman to your face for the last week echoed through your head. An uncomfortable knot in your chest grew as the nasty comments she had said whenever you or anyone else tried to correct her grew louder in your head, drowning out your own conscience.

You hugged yourself as tightly as you could as you felt tears well up in your eyes. No, you weren't hugging yourself. More like trying to rip yourself apart but not having the strength to do so as your dissociation turned into a breakdown.

You felt like you were dethatched from your body while weighing a million pounds at the same time when a deep reverberating voice ripped you back into reality. "Aw~ What has you so upset?"

Of all the people to see you like this, it just had to have been Revenant, didn't it? 

And of all the words you wanted to hear right now, getting called a 'skinsuit' was the last thing you needed.

"Someone break your little heart?" He jeered as he stepped closer to you, looming over you even as he crouched next to you.

"No." You did your best to keep your voice steady as you turned away from him, whipping the back of your sleeve over your puffy red eyes.

"Oh?" He didn't actually care, he just wanted to poke and prod to make you more upset. "Then what has the little skinsuit so down?"

And there it was. You tensed at the word skinsuit. It made you want to crawl out of your own skin right now, and it was certainly not what Revenant was expecting you to actually react to. But you did, and he noticed.

He tilted his head, carefully looking you over. You couldn't tell what he was thinking, but his intense gaze made that uncomfortable knot in your chest returned and tears welled back up in your eyes. you wished he would just kill you right then.

"Go away. Stop  _ staring _ at me." You tried to move away, to get up and leave, but Revenant grabbed a hold of your arm and held you in place. You tried to free yourself of his iron grip to no avail. "Let go of me!"

"You..." Revenant's voice was surprisingly soft. "... Don't like your skin, do you?" If it hadn't been for his soft tone, you might have thought he was about to skin you alive right there in that hallway. It was the hint of uncharacteristic concern, however, that made you stop trying to get away and turn back to look at him.

He let go of your arm and slowly moved his hand to your face, gently touching a clawed finger to your cheek where a tear had begun to fall. You didn't mean to, but you flinched at such a tender action. He was capable of skewering through people like marshmallows on a stick after all.

"Why do you hate your skin?" Revenant asked.

"Why do you care?" You asked in return. Anger tinted your voice more than you wished it did.

"Because..." Revenant pulled his hand away from your face and shifted one leg so that he was in more of a sit than a crouch. "... You still have yours."

This made you pause. You found yourself staring at his face, half blinking as his words sank in and it dawned on you.

Of course.

He was a simulacra. He had once been human himself. 

You knew a little bit about how simulacra worked. You knew they had a program that made them see their reflection as their human self, and from what you had heard about Revenant, that program had malfunctioned for him. Having to see a completely different body looking back at you than the one that you know is yours, that you know is You, must be some other kind of hell.

"I don't know how to explain it." You finally reply. "I started T a few months ago and I thought that I was finally going to be comfortable in my own skin, but then..." Your thoughts trailed off and your eyes wandered away from looking at Revenant. You didn't want to start thinking about the other staff member and dissociate all over again. "... Something happened." 

Revenant stared at you intently for a minute before asking very seriously "Who do I need to kill for you?"

You whipped your head over to look at him. You raised your hands to frantically wave them back and forth in front of you. "No no. You don't need to kill her- I- I mean..” You caught yourself for a split second and lowered your hands. “..You don't need to kill anyone. Thank you for offering, but please don't." 

You had said a bit too much by letting 'her' slip out, confirming that there indeed was a person at fault for making you feel the way you had and Revenant absolutely caught it.

"If you don't want me to kill whoever this 'her' person is..." He leaned in, speaking quietly but just as seriously as he posed a new offer to you. "If she ever makes you feel like shit again, tell me who she is so I can...  _ send her a message _ ."

You were still opposed to it, but you suppose it wasn't so bad having the notorious murder robot have your back. A hell of a lot better than him being out to get you. Something about that made you huff humorously to yourself as you nodded "Alright. That sounds like a deal."

That answer seemed to please him as he gave an approving hum before pushing himself off the floor and standing. You continued to sit where you were on the floor, needing a bit longer to compose yourself before getting up.

"Hey Revenant?" You quickly asked before he could walk off. He turned to look at you, making another humming sound, only this time more quizzical.

"Can you not tell anyone you saw me like this?" 

He gave a short chuckle and nodded his head in agreement. "My lips are sealed."

**Author's Note:**

> ending the only way i know how: with a pun.


End file.
